Didn’t start until gone ten as I didn’t set the alarm properly after the electric was off. Wasn’t really in the mood, even though there is a crunch on. There are issues at work at the moment which I’m not going into. So did an hour or so, then picked up the shopping. Then did another hour and then we took the dogs out for a couple of hours. Had lunch, did a bit more then went to Pump. Did a session with Laverne. Came back, then we had a bath together and watched the final of CBB. Katie Price won, Katie Hopkins should of. Still, it was nice. Jamie (the plumber that is) and his ‘friends’ did a really good job in the end. Very pleased. It all works (ignore the door) and looks very nice. He sent the electric certificates and the invoice. It was what he quoted. So be it.

Electrician arrived far too early. Anyway he got on with everything and it was completed in a couple of hours. Shower tripped out a couple of times but seems fine now. He left with everything working. Plumber came back just after lunchtime. Fixed up last few things and put the tiles on the bath panel. All sealed up nicely. Cut the bottom off the door and put the hinges back on. Tried to close door and it hits the thermostat on the wall, which is rather annoying. Still, that can be remedied. After everyone finally vanished for some reason I decided to go on a nine mile run. Came back and shaved in my new sink, took a piss in my new loo and then had a shower. It was very nice to shower and not feel like you were being gently peed on by someone with a very low pressure bladder. All I need to do now is take a shit in it. The loo that is, not the shower. Okay, so still a few bits to finish off, but overall I’m fairly happy.

So started this morning at 6:20. Took Sasha to daycare. Went back to bed. Waited until as late as possible, which was actually 8:40. Plumber turned up. Fitted the toilet, shower, curtain, loo roll holder and sink. Built the frame for the bath panel. I walked Dillon. Picked up Sasha. Plumber then vanished. Electrician tomorrow and then plumber back to finish off and then that should be it. Went to Pump. Practiced on my organ. Watched celeb BB. Perez got booted out, that really did make my day.

So started this morning at the crack of dawn, well, 8:30, but it sure felt like it. The tiler arrived and worked basically all the way through until 6PM. And so did I. It was very dull. Walls were finished with half a tile left over. Not enough to do the side of the bath. But…there are enough floor tiles to do it. So that’s going to end up sort of black. So white bath with black edge and black sink with white base, sort of funky. I must admit it is beginning to all look nice now.

Went for an evening walk for an hour. Only a few miles, but I just needed to get some air. Came back and worked out the measures for ‘Are friends electric’, now just need to follow the bloody things. Had a shower and ate. Feeling bloody knackered. Jamie just come home from work, so I think we’ll both have an early night. Sasha at daycare tomorrow. Cleaners coming. Plumber coming to do second fix. So I’m sure it’ll all be bloody chaos, but one day closer to completion.

So this morning didn’t start off great. Actually, no it started fine. Just had some unpleasing dreams. Started work, which to be honest has been fucking frustrating all day. My priorities and other peoples priorities are rather different. Plumbers turned up just after eleven, bath turned up shortly afterwards. Delivery people decided to take bath upstairs, plumbers wanted it outside. Anyway, at the end of it all, new bath is installed, taps are in the right place, doors on vanity unit installed. Dogs behaved fine down here on there own, needn’t have bothered with the office move. Not much else happened really. Went to Combat, my sister quite rightly had a go at me, it’s nice to get a response on the forum more than once a year. We did come to one conclusion though, Jamie is a completely anti-social person who spends all his time connected to a phone. At least I made an effort to talk to people, even if I wasn’t in the mood. Next time, he can stay home, and Katie Hopkins and I can have a decent discussion about Chardonnay.

This morning I stayed in bed quite a while, no particular reason other than I didn’t really have to get up for some fucking plumber. I ended up over analysing last night again. Now, I think I may have given Chardonnay lady a bit of a raw deal. I’m sure really she is very nice and we could have had a very good intellectual conversation on just about anything, I could possibly have even convinced her that she may not have yet tried the ‘correct’ Chardonnay. But on the other hand ‘inverted helicopter’ boy was there to purely goad me. I’m sure it was his intention to wind me up as much as possible and seeing he was getting a bit of a ‘rise’ just kept continually stabbing me with his repeated attempts at humour. If it would have carried on I would have happily taken the pissed shit outside and beaten the remaining life out of him. He was standing there holding a giant beer bottle, it did somewhat remind me of Frodo from the hobbit holding a normal sized bottle. Then you could ask, ‘Was I pissed?’. Well I took seven cans of lager, we were there four hours and walked home, I placed four cans back in the fridge, so in answer to that, no I wasn’t and was probably under the drink drive limit as well. So, then, well may be I just wasn’t in a social mood? Okay, so that’s probably true, but I was still capable of holding a sensible conversation on just about anything. So my ideal Friday night may now consist of us ignoring each other, eating pizza, drinking beer and falling asleep in front of the television.

That’s bullshit.

I do miss going out on a Friday night.

During my twenties I used to take the bus into town on a Saturday evening and hit some very hard core dance clubs. This was the time when EDM (electronic dance music) or as it was known then ‘House’ music was just arriving on the scene. It was almost obligatory that the club reception would try and sell you class A drugs. You would dance away for twelve hours, powered by nothing but a bottle of Evian and horse tranquilliser. You’d loose your t-shit in ten minutes and your dignity in twenty. Then on the Sunday you would walk home, usually shirtless and wallet-less. How the hell I ever got through that period without any serious STD’s or death, I shall never know. But saying that, I do kind of miss it.

I could go to a dance club now and I would get the response, ‘Who ever brought grandad in here?’. But I could not only tell them the key and the time signature of whatever track was being played by a deejay who could easily be the age of my son, but what Bach track is ripped off from.

I digress.

I guess I’m just left with eating pizza and falling asleep in front of the television. At least I’m not an annoying twat.

I do hope to get to meet Chardonnay lady again, perhaps we can have a proper conversation again. Saying that, I do hope she is actually like Katie Hopkins, as I’d love to meet her as well…..

This morning started earlier than I’d like, but at the time I asked for. The tiler arrived after just after 9:30. I don’t think he was too pleased with the job ahead, not my fault, it was what he was told about. Anyway, he was great, provided tea he got his tools out. I spent half hour carrying all the bloody tiles upstairs. I provided him with tea every hour. He put on ‘Absolute Radio’, and promptly sang to every bloody track. He didn’t have a bad voice providing it was in C. Any minor key was fairly awful. I must admit, he’s done a fine job. I’m really pleased with the result so far. I had a fairly tedious day editing videos, tidying the office and posting shit (literally) on Facebook.

He buggered off at 5:30. Jamie came back and we out for the evening to my sisters. Now. I was quite up for the evening even if Jamie wasn’t. I chatted to a guy I’ve known for twenty odd years (and his wife), no problem at all. Okay, so we chatted about bathrooms and plumbers. Then we chatted to a lady I’ve known for years, we talked about travel, she is lovely, always has been. Then we were introduced to a woman who’s first words were, “how can anybody drink Chardonnay”. She reminded me somewhat of Katie Hopkins, but wasn’t as interesting. She also seemed to be somewhat obsessed with how tall she was. Then I finally ended up with a tiresome bore who I tried to avoid all evening. His life seemed to consist of not being able to buy a certain wine anymore from Sainsbury’s. He then banged on continuously about flying a helicopter upside down while drinking 40% proof wine. Now here’s the fun thing, you are not capable of brewing wine, and you certainly can’t fly a helicopter. You just seem to be an annoying dick who’s sole purpose in life is some sort of ‘one upmanship’. At the end of the day, I’m considerable richer than you are, am able to hold a sensible conversation that isn’t fuelled by alcohol. Oh and the last time I saw you, you were still a bit of a twat, but had three less chins. We made polite excuses and left. They say you can’t choose your family but can choose your friends. On this occasion we very much exercised the latter.

Sorry I broke your coat rack, that really wasn’t intentional. You must come round for pizza some time. Sorry we didn’t stay for games, but to be honest it’s been a hell of a shit week. Far too many early starts, far too many people pissing me off, from work to plumbers. I just want to accelerate to the end of next week when it’s all done and out of the way. If someone could turn round to me now and offer me a painless death, I’d be very tempted. But on the other hand that would probably please some people, and we wouldn’t want that would we.

So alarm went off at 8. Got an email to say that tiler wasn’t coming. Jamie tossed me off, so at least I did. Shopping arrived half hour earlier. Delivery driver was an idiot. Tap arrived on time. It’s a tap. Looks like the old one. I’m sure they are all made in the same Taiwanese sweatshop. Got up. Threw a bit of a paddy at work. Have a big issue where one part of the company wants every addition under the sun without any frame rate reduction and another which just wants the bloody thing finished and bug free. I basically logged out of our chat system and went AWOL for the day. I was still working, I just wasn’t prepared to talk to any one, without killing them. It worked quite well, I must do that more often. Walked Sasha, even though it wasn’t my day. Caught Jamie using one of those pay day lenders which I really don’t approve of. Now, your mother has read that she may have a go at you as well. He also failed to put the shopping away as he didn’t get out of bed early enough. See, if you did that I may not have mentioned it.

Went to Pump. Did a session with Laverne and worked on my arms. Also filled her in about the fun bathroom saga. I have no idea who’s turning up tomorrow if anyone.

So got up at 8AM, plumbers did actually arrive at 8:30. They removed bath. I had a word and said I’d compensate him slightly as I think drilling a hole in the wrong place shouldn’t completely wipe out his profit margin, especially when he still has to pay for his fat minion, mind you, he could do with a few less pies. I did say I would try and get shot of the bath. Now, my sister, who always has an eye for a bargain, unlike my mother who always has an eye for total shit, made a rather ridiculous offer. Okay, it’s not new. It does come predrilled though…These baths are £700. I know he paid with delivery around £460. So I asked what he’d take for it. He mmmd and ahhhed, then said £200? I said I didn’t think that was fair. He gave me an odd puzzled look like I’d just clamped his testicles in a vice while I was asking him how many sugars he wanted in his coffee. I said I’d give him £300. So Sarah gets a cheap bath, plumber is only down £160 so can still feed burger boy and I feel vaguely nice. He then proceeded to finish off everything ready for the tiler, who starts tomorrow. Now I’m still expecting a hell of a lot of sucking up for this, I want my door trimmed and everything fitting. I also wouldn’t mind a blowie, and Jamie wouldn’t say no either (from the plumber that is, he considers my head work to be like doing Russian roulette with your dick in a liquidiser).

Anyway, work was dull. Many bugs. Did get to finish at 4:30 though. Which meant I finished at 5:30. As it was snowing I decided against running and went to Spin instead. I resisted Laverne’ offer of going to Zumba. Came back home and practised on the keyboard. I’m now well on the way to nailing the whole of ‘Are friends electric’. Torture porn night.

Took Dillon to daycare at 6:20. So plumbers turned up at 9:30. I pointed out the hole in the ceiling and questioned the cistern placement. He said it would fit in the frame, I said only if it’s shrunk my about 40mm. He then got it out the box. It was bigger than the frame. Anyway, he sorted that and did all the plumbing for the shower and the remaining plasterboard. Seems to have lost the top off the cistern and hacked half the polystyrene off it. Walked Sasha. Came back and they were doing the bath. Now remember we already discussed tap and waste positions on Monday. I went upstairs to get Sasha’s Kong. Popped my head into the bathroom. And there, was the bath all in place, with the bloody tap at the far end. Now this is a double ended bath, what in gods name made him stick the bloody tap there. I clearly specified that the tap should be in the corner, the same as the controls. I also said the waste should be on the outside for when it breaks. To say I was seething was a fucking understatement. He said ‘ah, sorry’, followed by ‘I know a man who fixes chips in baths’. I walked out. Now, if there was a time I was going to have a heart attack caused by stress then this would be it. Thankfully the ticker worked fine. The plumber isn’t a huge bloke and to be quite honest in a fight I quite fancy my chances. I could fend his fat monkey off with a burger. I went back in and said basically we’d spent a shit load of money on this bathroom (well I have, Jamie only offers abuse), and that it needs to be right. I’d specifically had the bloody conversation about taps. And the bath will have to be replaced. He apologised and said he must have misunderstood me (not the first bloody time, or lets face it, even the first cock-up) and that he would have to replace it. Thankfully it’s down in price at the moment, he’ll get away with about £380. That will wipe out his profit margin. Anyway, he then left, I went and picked up Dillon. Came back and did some more work (I have been working during the day).

Went to Pump. Worked on my arms, still fairly seething. Came back. Email from plumber, new bath ordered, it will be here Monday. He’s coming tomorrow at 8:30 to finish the plumbing and remove the bath. Oh and the fucking tap leaks, I’m more pissed off with that than the bloody thing being in the wrong place, it cost a bloody fortune. So that will have to go back and now I have to get another tap. He says he can hopefully ‘sale’ the old one and apologised once more saying he ‘must have misheard me’. More like he wasn’t paying bloody attention.

One thing is certain. If I’d done it myself, it may have taken 3 years, but I wouldn’t have fucked it up.