Miami and back again

Not sure exactly how many days out I am, but as usual check the videos at

In the evening we ate a ‘tasting menu’ at a very upmarket (Michelin starred) Italian.. Next day was horrible weather in the morning, so we lazed around the room until afternoon. We then headed down to the pool and had a sun bed and a few beers. In the evening we ate at another Michelin star Asian restaurant, which was more fancy than the last one.

Next day we picked up the hire car, which was a Chevy Camaro, it looked fairly pretty but had the performance of a sofa and not a very nice one at that. Still, we drove the six hours to ‘Key West’ in heavy traffic. Got there. Spent less than an hour there and then drove back. Finally ate just before midnight and had a rather mediocre but expensive steak. The beer was nice though.

This morning I drove down to Pompano beach. Picked up an R22 and flew it with a Swiss guy as safety pilot (can’t fly solo due to security laws). We flew down the coast of Miami at 300 feet, it was crazy. Then flew over to the everglades and crossed them at 100 feet. Finally over to a lighthouse to see some sharks. It cost me what I would pay in pounds, but in dollars, far far cheaper in the US. But it’s a bit more noisy as they don’t bother with things like doors. Stopped off in an iHop for lunch. Drove back to the hotel, picked up the luggage. Drove to airport, where Alamo successfully pissed me off again.

Eight hour flight back to Heathrow. Car was waiting which was nice. Need to call ‘Tracker’, apparently some alert was triggered, will have to look into that. Drove home, picked up the dogs. Now pretty much all unpacked. And the washing machine is on. Back to work tomorrow.

So far I’ve failed to get shot in Miami

Oh dear I haven’t really been keeping up with this. The days are long, then I have to edit everything at night and then sleep, this does oddly leave very little time. The fact is now I’m sat on the 11th floor balcony at the most expensive hotel in Miami. The car lot is full of lambo’s and Ferraris. Trevor Nelson (Google it) is two rooms along. There is a full on EDM gathering at the pool and it’s full of beautiful people. I had a wonderful surprise this morning, we were delivered two bottles of Moet and chocolate covered strawberries. Unfortunately we had to go out, but anyway, lets go back a few days.

I think I left you dear reader just before we were going to ‘Be our guest’. Oh wow. That’s all I can say really. Disney really did up their game on this one. The main ballroom where we were seated was just amazing. I’m sure the ceiling must have been hand painted. The food, for Disney, was exceptional. Actually, that’s not really fair. If you paid the rice in Disney you would have a very decent meal. We paid the price and ate like kings (or queens). Actually we paid bugger all apart from the wine, as it was all part of the Disney dining plan. Now here’s a clever ruse from the server. When I ordered the wine, she instantly asked, ‘Do you have ID?’, we both said ‘Yes, of course’ and reached for our ass pockets. She pipped up, ‘That’s fine, you reached for your ID, that’s all I needed to know.’. Smart cookie. We both had the pork chop. Now. Lets get this straight. My experience of all meats is somewhat limited. Meats were always served at home, ‘cooked’. As in, one step away from charcoal. This is why I don’t generally eat meat. I’ve never eaton anything other than ‘well done’. So to be honest I’m fairly scared of anything that has any red in it at all. I had ‘medium’ pork chops, and they were devine. This was our last night in Disney and we rounded it off with one final go on ‘Space Mountain’.

The next day we had breakfast at the hotel and picked up no less than thirty-two snack items. We then left Disney for the last time and made our way to Legoland Florida. It was a painless one hour journey.

Legoland Florida. Well, what can I say. It ain’t Disney. It’s quite a small park in comparison. It doesn’t exactly have any ‘thrill’ rides. Still. The hotel was fun and the park was ‘okay’. We made the best of it and had a good time. We especially enjoyed the ‘quest for che’ which was a water ride where we got absolutely soaked. We had a bit of an issue in the evening where we booked a time slot for the buffet, but the buffet was closed. So we ended up eating by the bar. We then had fun issues sorting this out in the morning.

We then left Legoland Florida and drove to Miami. The drive was painless. We eventually arrived at the most expensive and excessive hotel in Miami, the Fountaine Blue. It’s just so much style over substance. The bathroom looks marble, but really it’s just plastic. I had to drop the car off at the rental company. So I dropped Jamie off at the hotel and had to do a six mile diversion before I could do a u-turn. I almost took out a bus. Still, dropped the car off no problem. We ate at the cheapest restaurant at the hotel and it still cost almost two hundred quid. Was very good though.

This morning we were greeted by two bottles of Moet and strawberries in chocolate. We had to leave them though as we had a tour of the everglades booked. Bus picked us up and eventually we ended up at the alligator park. We had an airboat tour which was cool and then a show thing. We then ended up at the hotel mid afternoon and tucked into the Moet. So now we are up to date…

Then we went shopping and bought a suitcase

I’ll keep it short and sweet as usual you can see the video in the usual place We basically drove round various shopping malls. I bought some new sunglasses and a suitcase, as four large cases is a good number for two people. We ate in Paradiso 37 and had some nice cocktails.

Today we went to Disney’s Animal Kingdom and saw some animals plus went on their only coaster, twice, it’s very good. Tonight we are eating at what is supposed to be Disney’s best restaurant, I’m sure it will be awful.

I remember it differently when I was a kid….

So we got in the car and drove to Busch gardens. As soon as we arrived a storm started and we ended up in a shelter with about 200 screaming kids eating packed lunches. We were going to go back to the hotel, but it was pissing down and they stopped the carpark transport. Thankfully after an hour it all dried up and everything started to open again. We queued for ‘Cheetah Hunt’, which was a really good coaster, did ‘Montu’ which I still reckon is the best coaster in the world and then we did the train ride around the animals. There were only two more coasters and we were done, we did ‘Cheetah Hunt’ and ‘Montu’ one more time. Always thought there was a lot more here, guess my memory is clouded and perhaps mixing it up with another park. We ate at an Italian in Disney Studios and stayed there until it closed.

So yesterday was a bit different. You know everyone has the famous ‘bucket list’, and one thing that’s always on it is ‘swim with dolphins’, well, I think it was pretty much the last item on mine as I think the hot sex with Adam Rickitt is not going to happen, he keeps bouncing me emails. So anyway, we drove to ‘Discovery Cove’ which is only a few miles away and checked in. It was then quickly time for my ‘Dolphin swim’. I donned a wetsuit and joined the group. We were led into the water and met a baby dolphin female who was one. Cute as anything. She made sounds on command and gave ‘dolphin kisses’. We then met a twenty year-old male who was just massive, he gave ‘dolphin rides’ which was a fantastic experience. The whole thing was over quickly. We then spent the rest of the day lounging around. I managed to lose my sunglasses which was rather annoying, I’d already scratched the lens one side anyway, so maybe time for a new pair of Oakley’s. Last night we went to Epcot and went on test track to use one of our three free fast passes. We then turned up to our dinner reservation over half-hour late. Still, we had a very nice Mexican. We then took the monorail to Magic Kingdom and stayed there until midnight.

Three lots of metal detectors to get on a coaster, you are taking the piss

So we managed to start fairly early for us and drive over to Universal. Parked up and joined large queue for metal detector, managed to bypass that one and then joined another large queue for another metal detector. Finally got on to ‘City Walk’ and then got our tickets. Managed to get into ‘Studios’ park, we did the Transformers 3D ride which was very good, Mummy Returns, which was okay and the Simpsons. We then did the new Gringots train which was excellent in lots of ways and then took the Hogwarts Express over to the other park. We had lunch and then did Spiderman 3D which is showing its age now against the Transformers ride. Jurassic Park water ride and then the heavens opened, we managed to get on the Harry Potter ride before the storm, afterwards we ended up stood in a cafe for an hour waiting for the Dragon coaster to open. It finally did. All my stuff is in zipped pockets, yet we had to go through yet another metal detector to get on a bloody coaster, so had to dump all stuff in a locker and rejoin the queue. I’ve never come across something so bloody ludicrous, you have less security in airports. The coaster wasn’t even that good. Drove home via Walmart and picked up a few bits. Last night we ate at ‘Bongo’s’, which was a very nice Cuban restaurant, very good food and cocktails.

When you wish upon a star

So spent the day at Magic Kingdom, so more chasing about. Had a fantastic storm, ended up buying one of those lovely plastic macs. The water was several inches high by the evening. We went out to Epcot for dinner. Ate at a Japanese place where they cooked the food in front of you. Rain had stopped by the time we finished.

Today I finally had enough and had a very long lie-in. We actually left the hotel room at about 2PM, walked to Disney Springs and had lunch. We spent the rest of the afternoon walking round and went to a meeting of the ‘Disney Vacation Club’, it looked very good, but I don’t think it’s really for us, as although we like Disney, I’m not willing to spend every year, or even every few years here, we like to have some flexibility. In the evening it was back to Magic Kingdom for dinner and then the park was open until 1AM, I was feeling a bit more ‘with-it’ by then.

You can catch all the latest of course here:

All this food and galavanting is one thing, but I could really do with a sit down

So we got up at the crack of dawn at about 5AM and checked out of the hotel. Drove to the Alamo car drop-off. No issues, even if there was a bloody great crack in the windscreen, which I couldn’t honestly tell you if it was there when we started or not. Checked in bags at airport, went through security and checked into another poncy lounge. Had a few drinks and it was time to board cattle class. It was only a four and a half hour flight, there was no food, no entertainment unless you paid for it, but there was wifi for $10. I was sat between Jamie and a small Chinese woman. I put on CNN and read a book. Very interesting one actually, the history of Universal Studios. Soon into Orlando, where we had to wait and piss around trying to find Virgin people, they eventually turned up, the gift card we were expecting didn’t and we would spend the next couple of days chasing it. Picked up another Altima. Drove to hotel. It is very nice it must be said. Nice view and good wifi signal. Had a lovely dinner at the hotel restaurant and then had cocktails at Disney Springs.

Yesterday we spent the bulk of the day at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, went on Tower of Terror lots. Lots of walking around. Came back to the hotel, changed and then went to Chef Mickey’s at the Contemporary. We were late as usual, but didn’t have any problems. We met all the Disney characters, I think we’ve now been photographed with pretty much every character they’ve ever produced. Went back to Disney Springs and had a couple of beers.

All this walking and chasing about is having quite a big toll on me though, my leg hurts now more than ever and I’m beginning to walk with a permanent limp. Every time I stand up I get a shooting pain. Actually, providing I don’t stop and keep going it’s okay, But sitting down and standing up is quite a harrowing experience. I could really do with a ‘day off’ and just sit by the pool for a bit, but with our tight schedule that’s not going to happen. Weather this week is utter shite, there are permanent storms.

When coming back to the room last night I had a wonderful surprise, Jamie had got me a basket of chocolates and biscuits and I had lovely messages from everybody, that certainly lifted my spirits.

I think we are at Magic Kingdom today. I may wimp out in the afternoon and spend a bit of time with a book.

Breakfast with Chip ‘n’ Dale, shopping at Hot Topic

So we intended to be on time, but failed, so were twenty minutes late for our breakfast reservation. Still, it was quite a grand buffet and we got to meet both Chip and Dale, great fun. We then walked back to the hotel and picked up the car. Drove to Orange Outlet centre and raided Hot Topic. Bought lots of shite. We then drove to ‘Little Tokyo’, lots of anime shops, no toilets. Then we drove to central Hollywood and parked up. Went to Ru Pauls sweet shop thing and made our own chocolate bars. Finally drove back to the hotel, which was no longer full of Asian Dentists (they had been there at a convention all weeks) and packed. We then walked a block down from the hotel and ate at a very nice little family Italian which did four hundred different types of beer, I had two. Oh and the ravioli was lovely. Went back to hotel and finished packing. Early night, 5AM start. The video failed to upload last night, so there will be a slight delay on that one.

Then I had to borrow Dec’s suit

So for some reason I was at the final of ‘Pop Idol’, in competition with another guy. He sang and whinged about the quality of one of the speaker stacks. It was my turn and decided I wasn’t really dressed appropriately, so ended up borrowing Dec’s suit. He’s a bit more tubbier than I’d imagined.

The other dream I had was about clearing out earwax.

We headed out up a couple of junctions on the I5 to Knott’s Berry farm. It was a lot more crowded than Six Flags the day before. Still we were there pretty much all day and had a good time (watch the video). Came back and changed then had a rather excessive (in quantity) meal at the hotel restaurant. Early night, no sexy time.

Six flags with steak

So we started off late. We eventually left the hotel at gone 11AM. Which wasn’t great as it was almost a two hour drive to Six Flags. The good news was thought that the park was pretty empty and everything was just pretty much walk-on. We did a whole range of coasters, the bulk of which we’d done before anyway. Finished off the day on ‘Twisted Colossus’, which threw up a few surprises. Had a two hour drive back in LA traffic. Changed and headed next-door to a rather nice steak house ‘Outback’, they did ‘Shocktop’. I had steak, I even had it with some pink in the middle, it was very good, considering I don’t like steak. So a nice day all in all.