It’s not real

So Sunday I went out drank five pints then got home and downed a bottle of wine and watched Britain’s got talent. Next morning I couldn’t remember almost any of it. On Monday I decided enough was enough so didn’t drink anything. But then I had to solve the sleeping issue. I came up with a system, based on ‘hours awake’ and involved a combination of Zopiclone and L-Theanine. Thankfully this actually worked, but Zopiclone is known to block out the important R.E.M. sleep, so knew payback was in order.

Wednesday I was in two minds, but ended up doing gates at the track, going to to the pub to do the first part of quiz and downing a pint of coke. I then drove back home, got changed out of my racing kit and then walked back to the pub. I then consumed four pints over the next three hours and boy did I struggle with the last one, I think I spent an hour just on that.

When I got home I had one of those mini pizza things, I’d already had a cheese burger at the track. I then went to bed. Really I should have had a shower as I probably stank. And then it started, the tossing and turning, went on for about five hours. I then popped a L-Theanine tablet and R.E.M. finally popped in. Now strange things started to happen. You are afraid to close your eyes as you know your brain will play tricks on you, you can’t distinguish between whats fake and whats reality. It’s a very strange state to be in. You do have to stop yourself and go ‘It’s not real’, then you suddenly wake up, or do you? You may go through multiple levels of waking up. Who knows I may even not actually be writing this, I may wake up again. After an hour or so the strangeness stops and you can actually close your eyes in confidence.

I’ve got no plans to drink this evening (I have made a little promise to myself if I keep everything under control), roll on reality, or lack of….

Derren Brown – Showman

Always enjoyed Derren Brown, seen many of his shows live over the years. This one though was a bit special and more personal. It was dedicated to his dad who passed during covid. Being from Bristol this was the show he was supposed to come and see. I won’t reveal anything about the show other than during the second half there was something that just completely amazed me, I can work out how most of the stuff is done, but that was just mind blowing.

The one thing that struck with me is there was a number of ‘end of life’ statements given by people. ‘I wish I lived the life I wanted’ and ‘I wish I took more risks’, quite poignant.