So far I’ve failed to get shot in Miami

Oh dear I haven’t really been keeping up with this. The days are long, then I have to edit everything at night and then sleep, this does oddly leave very little time. The fact is now I’m sat on the 11th floor balcony at the most expensive hotel in Miami. The car lot is full of lambo’s and Ferraris. Trevor Nelson (Google it) is two rooms along. There is a full on EDM gathering at the pool and it’s full of beautiful people. I had a wonderful surprise this morning, we were delivered two bottles of Moet and chocolate covered strawberries. Unfortunately we had to go out, but anyway, lets go back a few days.

I think I left you dear reader just before we were going to ‘Be our guest’. Oh wow. That’s all I can say really. Disney really did up their game on this one. The main ballroom where we were seated was just amazing. I’m sure the ceiling must have been hand painted. The food, for Disney, was exceptional. Actually, that’s not really fair. If you paid the rice in Disney you would have a very decent meal. We paid the price and ate like kings (or queens). Actually we paid bugger all apart from the wine, as it was all part of the Disney dining plan. Now here’s a clever ruse from the server. When I ordered the wine, she instantly asked, ‘Do you have ID?’, we both said ‘Yes, of course’ and reached for our ass pockets. She pipped up, ‘That’s fine, you reached for your ID, that’s all I needed to know.’. Smart cookie. We both had the pork chop. Now. Lets get this straight. My experience of all meats is somewhat limited. Meats were always served at home, ‘cooked’. As in, one step away from charcoal. This is why I don’t generally eat meat. I’ve never eaton anything other than ‘well done’. So to be honest I’m fairly scared of anything that has any red in it at all. I had ‘medium’ pork chops, and they were devine. This was our last night in Disney and we rounded it off with one final go on ‘Space Mountain’.

The next day we had breakfast at the hotel and picked up no less than thirty-two snack items. We then left Disney for the last time and made our way to Legoland Florida. It was a painless one hour journey.

Legoland Florida. Well, what can I say. It ain’t Disney. It’s quite a small park in comparison. It doesn’t exactly have any ‘thrill’ rides. Still. The hotel was fun and the park was ‘okay’. We made the best of it and had a good time. We especially enjoyed the ‘quest for che’ which was a water ride where we got absolutely soaked. We had a bit of an issue in the evening where we booked a time slot for the buffet, but the buffet was closed. So we ended up eating by the bar. We then had fun issues sorting this out in the morning.

We then left Legoland Florida and drove to Miami. The drive was painless. We eventually arrived at the most expensive and excessive hotel in Miami, the Fountaine Blue. It’s just so much style over substance. The bathroom looks marble, but really it’s just plastic. I had to drop the car off at the rental company. So I dropped Jamie off at the hotel and had to do a six mile diversion before I could do a u-turn. I almost took out a bus. Still, dropped the car off no problem. We ate at the cheapest restaurant at the hotel and it still cost almost two hundred quid. Was very good though.

This morning we were greeted by two bottles of Moet and strawberries in chocolate. We had to leave them though as we had a tour of the everglades booked. Bus picked us up and eventually we ended up at the alligator park. We had an airboat tour which was cool and then a show thing. We then ended up at the hotel mid afternoon and tucked into the Moet. So now we are up to date…

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