VPN worked fine today, which was good as I wasn’t really in the mood for another battle with it. Still working on renderer code. All going fine I guess. Ventured out to Tesco’s and stocked up on cash and petrol for tomorrow.

There was an odd post by Dan (Nat’s husband), saying he’s going to get an all white coffin and supply marker pens. Someone will draw a cock on it for sure (i’ll try not to), it’ll all be very odd. Won’t be for a couple of weeks yet though.

Went to Body Pump, finished off work. Quick bath, phone mother then try and get to bed earlier as I have to walk woof first thing, then drive up to London.

This morning started with a hangover. I didn’t start work until about 11, I just wasn’t in the mood. Had breakfast and fed the dog. Then finally did make a start. The VPN decided to not let me in so had to fart around with that. When I finally did get on with work though it was quite a productive day. Lots of renderer code, going back over the ‘todo’s’ and doing them. Quite pleased with progress although my heart wasn’t really in it, I was happy with the distraction.

Walked the dog, because of the heat she was as enthusiastic as I was, so we kept it sort. I did drag myself to the gym and do Combat, which I was quite pleased with. I enjoyed it. There was a fairly reasonable looking new guy at the back who had the coordination of a pissed giraffe. Came back did some more work, then went over to Sarah’s and watered her plants, although it’s fairly academic as it looks like it will piss down soon. Still, there’s a limit to how much I want dying this week.

Came back and did yet more work. Fucked up a couple of checkins, although they looked fine originally, brain not firing on all cylinders. Anyway, may sit down and watch a film now, in the mood for that, not much else. Need to go to doctors and pick up my prescription as I’m out of happy pills. Now in that very strange ‘limbo time’, between death and funeral. I’ll write an obituary at some point, just not right now.

Oh yes, the blog is one year old. Jamie said I’d never keep it up. I kept the paper diary up for twenty-four years. There’s been a new entry near enough everyday, you try and come up with something witty to say.

This morning I woke up, which oddly to discover someone else didn’t. I had breakfast and a coffee and then gently dozed. It wasn’t until about mid-day when I checked my email, and then face book. At 5:45 this morning was a message posted to me, from Karen Green, Natalie Green’s mother. It simply read, ‘Natalie is at peace x’. The world suddenly stopped turning, I lost all coherence, I didn’t really have a clue where I was for a few minuets. The girl who I had loved and been with for about six years had gone, she was no more, in her own words she would have said ‘I am an ex parrot’. So sudden, I only had a message the other day that she was ill in Cheddar Hospital and that they had found a ‘mass’ on her stomach, I was planning on visiting next week, I never expected this to happen so quickly. She was about thirty-five, had never done any harm to anyone, she has two small children. Now she is gone. The last time I saw her was at my wedding last year, she made our wedding cake. I only recently sent her a couple of dolls I’d picked up in Japan for her kids. Now she’s gone, she’s never going to pop on on face book again and seek legal advice or bitch about the world in general. It’s very strange.

We did eventually get up. I ate eggs, we visited the mall and I managed to get three more Gromits. Came back and got the BBQ going. Jamie’s mother was coming over. We actually had quite a good time, she slightly overdid the wine and was a bit legless. That took my mind of things for a bit.

I have a feeling I may be dwelling on my thoughts a bit too much this week. At some point soon I will have to meet her family again and I really just don’t know what to say.

RIP Natalie, may your god go with you.

Started this morning with two cups of coffee to boot the system. Doing about two hours of walking, Body Pump and nine hours of work yesterday was not a good combination. I didn’t even hear Jamie leave for work this morning. I thought the dog probably needed to go out but the patio door was already open, good job as I doubt I would have heard her any way. Got her her breakfast and I had mine. Read the paper. Then we ventured out on are ‘usual’ Saturday walk over to the field in Almondsbury, where she can have a good run off lead.

Came back and had lunch. Then ventured out to find more Gromits. On the way into a town I got stopped by some random guy and asked where I got my t-shirt from, I said it was from a shop in Yokohama. He then got quite pissed off with his girlfriend and ranted that he needed to go to Japan. Incidentally I was wearing my purple ‘Team Rocket’ shirt.

Found ten more Gromits, I think I’m around fifty-eight mark now. Visited mother, where she listed her usual amount of things that needed doing. I fitted her tumble dryer in. I got a fruit cake, fair exchange. Watered Sarah’s plants. Then ventured into Tesco to get a couple of bits for tomorrows family BBQ. Yes, It’s been at least a fortnight since the last one.

Right, bath time, then I’m cooking something with ham, not too keen on that idea.

So today was hot, still. Mr Tesco’s arrived just before 10, didn’t even get a text this time. Yet another driver, this one was ugly. Work wise was the last stage of renderer code cleaning and compiling. Managed to get it all going by late afternoon. So then ventured out for a walk to the doctors, needed to pop the repeat prescription for happy pills in. That ended up taking about an hour and a half round trip. It was very hot. Carried on with the resolving link errors then went off to Body Pump. That was very hot.

Got back and worked on link errors. Finally got them all sorted and the code checked in, that’s quite a big milestone to get passed. Now just have loads of stub type functions to implement. That’ll keep me busy over the coming weeks.

Now really must book that dentist appointment…..or flying lesson….it’s a toss up.

Today, once again was warm, hot, almost boiling. I walked to Sarah’s this evening in a a pair of shorts and a vest. I watered her plants, most look like weeds.

Work wise, yes, renderer again. Plodding along nicely. It was very hot, did I mention that? Did some more flying on the sim, need to practice hovering more.

Decided I really most go to the dentist before flying again, I’m getting bad toothache somewhere. Well it’s in my mouth.

Torture porn night, got a good one tonight by the look of it.