This morning was better than yesterday, a little bit anyway. I managed to finally log into my Vitality health thing and after contacting user support managed to log into the GP app. The problem was I had ‘at’ signs in my password and the app didn’t support that. Anyway, I have a video appointment with a GP bloke tomorrow. I want to get some scans done, so he better refer me or I’ll start creating hell via a backdoor method. Walked Sasha. This evening I walked to the hospital to see mother. Her swelling has gone done, I think she’s actually doing better than she makes out, but isn’t putting a great effort in. She’s moaning about her room, she has the only single room on the ward, she also has an absolutely cracking view. No one else has a TV or private toilet either. Walked home. Ate salad.

So started vaguely on time. Some interesting internal personnel issues that I’m not going in to. The day was pretty shit. Started shit, continued shit and ended shit. Walked Sasha, my leg was killing me. Walked to Combat, basically stood still but did all the upper body stuff. Walked home. Did some more work. Did the accounts. I’m now up to Saturday on my Glastonbury followup and just finished ‘Adele’. She warbled through all her hits, God that chick has a filthy gob on her. Tomorrow I imagine will be equally shit. I’m arranging a video consultation with a GP from my private medical insurance, trying to get a referral for a full MRI and ultrasound and then hopefully on to surgery.

Saturday started with physio. Then coffee with Laverne. We had a good chat. Her bunny boiler stalker was there and tried to butt in constantly. She’s now actually tried to ‘friend’ me on Facebook, so now as this a direct action I’m going to have a word with her and probably destroy her. Sarah and I then went to visit mother. Her leg is very inflamed, looks like it’s going to burst. I’m sure it’s just the healing process, but she needs to make the effort with the physio or she’ll never go anywhere. I know what she’s like and will moan forever more and just expect it to ‘work’. The four of us went to the pub last night and drank too much, it was a good night. We walked home and I went straight to bed.

I had breakfast at about half eight and was out with Sasha at nine. I really don’t do hangovers, I’m a professional alcoholic. Mother is apparently moaning that she’s been moved into a small room with no on-suite and no television. Now. You’re not going to like this. Call me a cunt if you wish. But out there somewhere, some poor man’s mother, grandmother or aunt has just had a really nasty fall and broken her hip. He probably won’t be cracking any jokes about sending her to a cemetery and will be really grateful that the ambulance people have taken her to A&E and they are looking after her really well. He’ll also be pleased that there is a space on orthopaedics and she’ll be operated on tomorrow. So here is my point. She was very well looked after and operated on immediately. She hasn’t recovered as quick as everyone would like. But I’m afraid she’s not in mega pain and on a shitload of morphine anymore. I don’t want to here all this ‘well what about if it was your mother’, it is my mother, she doesn’t have private medical insurance and she was treated bloody brilliantly. Selfish? No, not at all, I’m just thinking that someone else really requires that bed. No she isn’t in a state to come home, she may have to spend a week next to a filing cabinet without a toilet or TV. I’m sure she will still receive excellent care. But I’m sorry, I know what she’s like. She expects the bloody thing to heal itself and she’ll be tangoing in no time, but she just doesn’t put in the effort. Physio is fucking painful. My therapist usually has me crying in pain by the end of the session. She enjoys it. I don’t. But I’m still booked in next weekend.

So, to today. Well Shaun and I (that’s the B-I-L dear readers) started at B&Q buying plumbing shit. We then basically spent the best part of ten hours together in a small bathroom. Ripping out a bath, tiles and dodgy plaster. By the end of it we have the plasterboard all up and ready to tile. I’m sixty quid down, completely buggered my leg to the point I’ve now had to down co-dydramol and wine to take the pain away. But to be honest, with the state of the walls, we made a bloody good job of it. There’s a few bits of touching up to do, but by the time it’s tiled it’ll be fine. But I just know, we could present her with the ultimate shower room, all converted and ramps everywhere, and she’ll open her big fucking gob and say ‘you got cement on my carpet’ and I’ll want to kill the bitch. Sorry folks, but I’m ‘case hardened’, and I’m afraid there’s nothing in the world that will change my views.

So started a bit late. Got my leg was playing up this morning. We had a very very very long discussion about stuff. I eventually came up with a solution. Then everyone started blaming each other and making excuses, so I told the all to shut the fuck up and get on with it. It all went silent. I walked Sasha. Then had a very in-depth conversation about ‘bloom’, it was very dull. Took a couple of ibuprofen and walked to Pump. Did that, didn’t suffer too much. Then came home and did more work, as that’s all that’s in my life, sleep-work-gym, I have no time for anything else. I guess I’m destined to die providing all my work is checked in and the hours logged correctly.

This week I’ve been going through ‘Friday’ on the BBC iPlayer for Glastonbury. Every act, on every stage. I do this every year to see if there is any ‘new music’ that takes my fancy. Probably out of about forty hours of music I only found one band that I’d listen to again (if I’m not already), that’s ‘Ratboy’, sounds like early ‘Green Day’. On to Saturday next week.

Started work at a reasonable hour. Had some fun stuff to finish off today, and finish it off I did which was good. Weather was miserable again, but managed to get Sasha out for a full walk. Then this evening I walked from here to the hospital, it took an hour and twenty-one minutes. She was fine I guess. Still has problems raising her leg, but she was sat in a chair. She had completely straight hair which looked very strange. Her neighbours also turned up. Walked back home. That’s over sixteen miles walked today, no wonder my leg is knackered.

Started on time. Did the last bit of testing I needed to do on tessellation. Then spent the bulk of the rest of the day testing and building data for the various projects. Still got one platform to complete. There’s now way more work to do than time to do it in. Weather is awful, walked Sasha in the drizzle.

Did get out this evening for a bit. Walked to my sisters (she’s away and wanted me to keep an eye on the nephews), it wasn’t too bad, dogs had water. One was up but looked like he shouldn’t have been and the other announced that he’d only just got up. This was almost 9PM. That’s the boys that is, I have no idea on the sleeping habits of the dogs.

Started late. I really couldn’t face it first thing. Finally got on with it. More procrastination. Walked Sasha. It rained. Weather is crap all week. Leg playing up. Did some good work this afternoon. Drove to mothers and picked up her laptop then went to the hospital. She’s doing okay but finds it quite difficult to stand without pain. She moaned as her mouse didn’t work. Drove home and did far too much work.

There’s been a suicide bomb attack at Istanbul airport, we’ve been there several times. I expect holiday prices to drop, which is useful as the pound against the Euro has also plummeted since Brexit.

I knew this week would be somewhat crap. Work was basically a pain, with no decisions being taken. I was too and fro doing other things. Managed to walk Sasha for an hour. Drove to hospital again. Mother was just taking some laxatives, the nurse said they would ‘take about an hour’ to kick in, I set my watch. She is getting the feeling back in her leg now. They have had her out of bed and sitting. Her moaning is back to normal. They delivered a perfectly nice looking dinner of pasta and quorn, she moaned about it. I left her after an hour due to impending bowel movement. I drove into town. Now due to my dodgy leg and a lot of traffic going to the car park I managed to overheat the clutch and it now stinks like hell. Walked the short distance to the Colston Hall. I took my single seat between multiple sets of octogenarians. There was a warm up piano player / singer bloke for about five songs. There was then a twenty minute interval while the oldies emptied their colostomy bags, I managed to hold out. Then Burt came on. He did a great hour and a half set including all the classics and a few less well known songs. He talked to the audience a few times, he is very frail. He had his son there as well playing piano. He was accompanied by three great backing singers and some fantastic musicians. He sang ‘Alfie’ himself which was very sweet. He also talked about his ‘starring roles’ in the ‘Austin Powers’ movies. His final encore was a singalong to ‘Rain drops keep falling on my head’. I got back to the car and it still stank. All seems to work though, I think I just reduced the clutch life somewhat. I did enjoy that, over the events of the last few days it was a nice break. Although I think there is some major fallout about to happen, I’m not sure which side of it I’m going to come out on.

Its been a weird few days. This morning I just wasn’t with it. I wasn’t hung over or anything but my leg was killing and I had to take my own bodyweight in ibuprofen. I picked up my sister and went to mothers house. We picked up a few bits and then went to the hospital. We were told that she was already in surgery. So we dropped her stuff off in her room and had a coffee. I then spent the next four hours on the couch watching shite TV in a sort of surreal mood. Half four came along and we did some ‘car shunting’ and moved mothers car back to her house. We then went to the hospital and she was back in her room. It really was night and day to how she was the night before. No pain, and moaning and demanding shit, so basically she was back to normal. She was throwing up a little bit, but I think it was down to the anaesthetic. She was in great spirits. The NHS have been absolutely magnificent. I’m seriously pleased with how my excessive tax payments have been spent. She’ll be fine. She’ll be in there for over a week, she’s in great hands. Over the past twenty-four hours I’ve met countless NHS staff, every single one has been magnificent and smiling. And I bet I earn more in an hour than they do in a day. I feel very humbled and a tad embarrassed. You are all wonderful, and I salute you.

So this morning started with the usual coffee. Read the paper and then went to Physio. Have some new exercises to do. She also put ultrasound pulses into my muscle and massaged it a lot. I then went to pick up my nephew. Who was still in bed. Drove to Staverton. We actually got out pretty much on time. Flew Daniel for half an hour, he enjoyed it. Drove back. Walked Sasha. Did the accounts. Started to get ready for the brother-in-laws 50th birthday party. Had a call from my sister to say mother had had an accident. Drove down to venue. She was on the floor being treated by two paramedics. After about an hour they got her in the ambulance and told me ‘not to hurry as it will take ages’. I had a swift half and then drove to Southmead. This is a paste from the FaceBook feed, I’m not going to type it twice:

Mum’s doing fine. I left her in Southmead a couple of hours ago. She was beginning to ramble a bit from the morphine. They dosed her up with a ring block and made her comfortable. If I sat there I think she would have just tried to stay awake and ramble all night.
I’m well impressed with everybody at the hospital.
Now I’ve been very silent about this whole EU thing (unless you read my blog posts), but mum was helped by a Hungarian Doctor who gave her an ultrasound and injected the ring block, a Spanish surgeon who went through the operation with her and a Polish anaesthetist who made her comfortable. All of these people worked together with other English Doctors and nurses. And I’m very grateful to all of them.
She was taken by ambulance to Southmead. By the time I got there she was already in a cubical having blood tests taken. Within minutes she was taken for X-rays, and then may be only ten minutes later the Doctor appeared. Her X-ray was brought up on screen and he said she had broken her hip. He said he would call the orthopaedic surgeons but they wouldn’t be there until the morning. They arrived in literally three minutes, went through the operation and did all the paperwork. She was then moved to a very nice single room, with a telly, a call button and no wi-fi. This whole process probably took less than three hours.
I think she’s in the best hands possible and there’s not a great deal I can do other than get her make-remover and hair brush, which is all she requested.
And her last words to me before she dropped off, “Tell Sheila I won’t be able to take her shopping on Tuesday”.
So to all those who voted ‘Brexit’, when your mum has a fall and busts her hip, who the fuck is going to fix it?

I drove back to the venue to consume a couple of pints and eat cupcakes.

It’s been a hell of a long day.