First we must thank Jesus Christ for dying this time of year and giving us not just one, but two bank holidays.

Also I think it would be nice to give some thought to those that are not with us today, not because they have passed or they are ill, but because we don’t like them.

I would like to do a juxtaposition. First we have Jesus Christ, 33, a carpenter from Galilee. He had a bit of a penchant for leading the Jews and dabbling in politics. Then we have Charmaine, 33, a call centre worker from Essex. She has a bit of a penchant for drinking Lambrini and dabbling in shopping channels.

Jesus was persecuted by Pontius Pilate for proclaiming to be the ‘king of the Jews’. Charmaine was persecuted by her mate Chardonnay for wearing last weeks fake tan colour.

He dragged his own cross through Jerusalem. She was dragged out from her Mercedes C class, across the shopping centre car park

He had soiled bandages covering his arms. She dipped her arm into her Kipling handbag (the one with the monkey on it) and removed a Nina Leonard V-neck knit Kaftan. She shouted out, “Ha, fuck you, today I die, but it only arrived yesterday and I got it on four easy-pay”.

Jesus was hoisted up onto the cross which was dug into the sand. Charmaine was hoisted up onto the cross which was lashed to a sign advertising cut price decking at B&Q.

We know what happened to Jesus….

Charmaine’s blood dripped down on to her Kin & Co. bolero. The sweat reached the end of her fingers, she watched as it slowly wore off the nail varnish. She thought to herself that what she really needed right now was a Leighton Denny 14 piece expert manicure collection to perk them up a bit.

She felt the life drain from her as the sun set over the top of the ‘Blue Water Shopping Centre’. As Charmaine tried to reach down into the back of her white stiletto, she had one last dying wish. She’d strapped her iPhone 5c to the back of her 9 inch heel and what she really needed to do now, was to take a selfie.

With her last dying gasps she shouted out, “Today I die.”, “But tomorrow I will be resurrected.”, “Probably in the changing rooms of Selfridges.” “But tomorrow, will become today, which means at midnight, there will be a new ‘Today’s special value'”.

And with that she passes away. A security guard drives passed and looks up at the cross and shouts, “That’s all I need, another Essex bird who thinks she’s fucking Jesus”.

This morning was mostly spent in bed, with accompanying dogs. I did get up and walk them. I then had lunch and ventured out. I picked up dog food for the holiday. This was food for the dogs, not for us. I then went to ‘Intersport’ but didn’t go in as I decided it was far too pretentious. I parked up and walked into town. Failed to buy shoes. Came back home. Shot an animation for our road trip. Quite pleased with it. Oh, I’ve written a little something for Easter Sunday, it hasn’t been given much time but is quite fun.

So ended up doing a load of video editing. Bought some shoes on Amazon. I’m now going to have a shower then make a curry. Tomorrow is mostly a DIY day, followed by food and much wine.

Started this morning very much in bed and slept lots. Finally got up and had breakfast, followed closely by lunch. Then I headed out, parked up not too far from where I went last time. Got cracking pretty much instantly with about five caches in forty-five minutes. Ended up doing two fairly large circuits. Only one DNF. So pretty good haul. Came back and mowed the front lawn. The back is all mud so skipped that. Did some accounts. Then ended up finishing editing a new video. This one is a collaboration with Jamie. It won’t go live until next Friday I expect. There is a new one going live tonight, but that’s just a new helicopter video. A nice one though, an autorotation from about 3,000 feet.

Bath and pizza time. Need to go show shopping tomorrow.

Work was dull, but fairly productive. I haven’t had a great week with it to be honest. Walked the dogs. Went to Spin.

Then finally sat down and sorted out the last of the bookings. So got both lots of theme park tickets and tickets for Broadway show. I also changed up a bit more cash now the exchange rate is pretty mega. So that’s it. Apart from I think eight days of hotels, all the food and all the fuel, everything is paid for. Purchase wise I think I now have everything apart from the portable hard drive and a shit load of pills for everything. I think I need to have a go through the finances tomorrow and work out where I am. USA road trips and helicopter lessons are beginning to empty the coffers at an alarming rate.

Tomorrow I’m going to go Geocaching if the weather holds. Not sure about the gym, closes early, but may try and do a session with Laverne.

Woke up this morning at 6. Stayed in bed until about twenty past, then took Sasha to day care. Went back to bed. Got up at just gone nine. There was plenty of work to get on with, a demo was being prepared so it’s always chaos. Managed to sort out most problems early on. Cleaners arrived. Made lots of noise. So I went out for a nice long walk in the sun. It was a very pleasant day.

Came back and they were still here, but left soon afterwards. One hell of an improvement. They may even get paid this time. The only thing they forgot was the inside of the microwave. But considering they managed to transform the bathroom so you can actually navigate round the sink, I’ll forgive them.

Did more work, then went to Pump, Trudie was back, so no car crash like last week. I worked on my arms. Came back, had my protein shake. Did a bit more work and then some video editing. The new one’s really funny, I keep giggling over it. It’s only in the rough edit stage at the moment. I’ll release it in a couple of Fridays I expect. There’s a new helicopter one out this week.

Ordered yet more stuff off Amazon, including a road map, in case the satnav dies. Also a cover for the MacBook Air. The only thing remaining on the shopping list now is a portable hard drive. Just waiting for one to pop up on EBuyer on the daily discount.

Work wise was another day of hell, nothing wanted to work and everything took forever to not work. I pretty much gave up in the end and went out Geocaching, it was a beautiful evening. There’s plenty of work to get on with tomorrow so hopefully it will be a better day.

I’m just feeling really tired at the moment, going to have an early night.

Oh mothers back to her old tricks again….forty odd quid on an ugly dress.

Spent the bulk of the day building bloody data. Did managed to sort out the bulk of the holiday paperwork though. Now have a nice spreadsheet with all the paperwork referenced on it.

Walked the dogs, nice day again. Went to Combat and admired my shoulders. Redid my YouTube channel header. Sat down and watched telly. Now off to bed as I’m really tired.

Considering the amount of cheese I ate last night I started work fairly early this morning. Once again it was anti-aliasing and alpha to coverage. Managed to get quite a nice stipple effect produced by the hardware so settled with that. Then got EQAA in and all working. Finally the rest of the day was about performance profiling and testing. I’m still do data builds now to test. All in all quite successful, all looks very pretty.

Was quite a nice day today, if a bit nippy. Went to Pump, it was back with Laverne, so at least we did Pump this time. Did some PT afterwards, needed to work on the arms.

Managed to get my Blu-ray writer to work, it was a dodgy power supply. I’m just moving media from one drive to another at the moment, it’s almost a terabyte, so it’ll be going for a long while yet. I’ll try the writer tomorrow.

Jamie came up with a fantastic quote earlier, banging on about fragrances, he said “This one is very floral, but it’s meant to be a unisex aftershave.”, which is on hell of a concept.

Bath time. Go shopping tomorrow, then Sarah and Shaun round in the evening.

There will be a new video release tomorrow.