Oh to be 18 again, actually no, it was dull then and boy does it look dull now

So eventually I got up after breakfast. My stomach is still all over the place, and to be honest I seem to be shitting out McFlurry’s. Add a bit of ice and it would be sorted. Spent the bulk of the rest of the day trying to film me playing ‘Are friends electric’, in on take, without fucking up. Two hours and batteries later I finally managed it. Then there was lots of pissing about trying to get it all saved out etc. Anyway, walked the dogs, then we disappeared to buy some model paint. I did a home check for two Jack Russel’s. Then I got shit showered and shaved as we were going to my nephews eighteenth birthday party. We caught the bus, and considering it’s contents probably caught a few other things as well. Found the place eventually. Got inside. All the adults were at the bar and all the kids were at one table. It looked like a meeting of the chess club. The adults were getting blatted. The kids kept going outside to smoke questionable substances. My guts were still rumbling like hell. I stuck to gassy lager, which probably wasn’t a great idea. They did all liven up at about eleven o’clock. One thing though, none of them were particularly cute. You’d expect a nice blond twink stunner, but no, just a bunch of normal kids who all shared the same haircut. There was one I’d share the time of day with, but very ginger, don’t think I could get past that. You look back at your youth though and think ‘Oh I had such a great time, it was fab and we got really wasted every night’. Then you see the reality, you were just like them, felt slightly out of place in a room full of old farts, with insecurities and spots. We just didn’t have smart phones. Saying that it was the adults tonight who were taking all the selfies. Then the clock struck midnight, my mother turned back into a pumpkin. The kids all went out, were they heading into town to a club to get wasted? No, they were heading to McDonalds. We tidied up. I’d done four pints and a Jeager bomb. I’m ready for bed and a bit of telly. My late night adventures to McDonalds are over, I’ll leave that to the youth.

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