Harry Potter and the philosiphising golf bores

Started by doing the shopping far too early. Jamie walked the dog. I then poured large amounts of petrol into the car from the garage. Picked up Megan from the station as she was dog sitting.

We set off for joyous Watford. Journey was uneventful, accept for the constant drizzling.We arrived at Shendish Manor, which turns out to be a fairly poncy hotel in the middle of the countryside. Well, the middle of Watford anyway. Unfortunately it’s also a golfing hotel. When we arrived there were huge amounts of suited wedding people, apparently an Egyption wedding. Anyway, we checked in. I’d paid for an inclusive half board rate, but we are only down as bed and breakfast, but will need to sort that out at reception shortly no doubt.

Had a quick cup of tea then we departed for the ‘Harry Potter’ making of exerience a few miles down the road. It continued to rain. The tour is housed in two of the existing sound stages at the studios. All eight films were made here and it’s all the original props and sets. We had the audio guide as well. It was all very interesting and well worth a visit. The scale model of the complete Hogwarts is very very impressive, it’s huge. We exited via the gift shop and bought a fridge magnet.

Came back via a reverse odd route due to the sat-nav pissing me off. We had about an hour before dinner, so as it was our anniversary it was time for sex and a shower (not combined). Jamie had asked me first thing ‘to go as my ass like a whack-a-mole’, but I had to do the shopping at Tesco’s. Now he wasn’t so much in the mood, but it didn’t take much effort. It ended in a standing ovation with the glitter cannon going off. We went down to dinner.

So I ordered a pint and a Smirnoff ice for bum boy. They’d run out of all draft lager. So ended up with a couple of bottles of Peroni. I had the quail egg scotch eggs for starter, Jamie had the squid. Very poncy. I had the grilled plaice for main, Jamie had what looked like raw lamb, but apparently it was very good. Washed down with a nice bottle of New Zealand. We had a break while it all went down. This consisted of updating facebook with pictures of salt and pepper pots and listening to four golf bores in the corner. “Mine on the fith was fantastic, it just missed that tree.”, “No you sliced it”. Sorry guys but if you were any fucking good you’d be on the tour not sat here drinking a cheap red while comparing Pringle jumpers. I had the cheeseboard, Jamie had the chocolate brownies. Suitable stuffed Jamie headed back to the room, I headed out to find a bar.

Lady in restaurant pointed me towards a private function and said use the bar down there. I arrived to be greated by a rather full on chappie called “Tim”, he kept thinking I was Austrailian and admired my haircut. I admired his ability to pay for every round. It was a 90th birthday party for his nan. I got introduced to the lady of honour, she was in very good nick. Two pints and a few Tequila shots later I went back to the room. I didn’t have any issue sleeping.

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