Christmas was just so very last year

So here we go again, what I find the most depressing day of the year by far. If ever there was a reason to keep 4Kg of Fluoxetine in reserve it’s for today.

I’m sure its started how it’s meant to continue, pissing down. I was hoping to go out for a nice long walk with the dog and clear my mind a bit. But like the whole of Christmas it’s just continuous rain. It’s made the whole week very boring to be honest, normally during this week it’s a bit of DIY then some nice long walks, it’s normally chilly but dry. This year it’s been wet beyond belief. It’s really got me down.

So one good thing, my new Wine Making book turned up, so spent a couple of hours this morning with a nice coffee, my book and the farting dog. Jamie was working.

Got up and looked at the weather, still raining. So it was time to do a few house keeping computery things. Installed new virus software, updated various machines and things, a lot more of that to do tomorrow.

Then turned the lounge into a late 80’s rave scene, complete with lasers and a selection of tripe from I-Tunes.

Had lunch, by this time the rain had eased. Took dog for a walk, within three minutes it was torrential again but thankfully it didn’t last. We managed to get a good hour in.

So here I am, five to five. Listening to Paul O’Grady’s Christmas show on iPlayer. Oh, quick shout out to dad, he died I think nine years ago last night. He was another one who hated new year, and by dying just before it made sure everyone else would hate it forever more as well.

Let’s go then, what’s happened this year, what’s been good, what’s been shit, what did I care about and quite frankly what didn’t I care less about. I guess the major thing this year was the Civil Partnership. That came about last years new years eve. When we decided that wouldn’t it be a great idea to do it. So we did. To be honest the decision to do it seems like 10 minutes ago, but the actual ceremony itself seems like it was 10 years ago. It was a good day, it really was. Oddly it’s one of those things that really I would have not changed a thing, well if anything maybe I would have come up with a list of photos to take as I’m sure we are missing a few. The Honeymoon was great. LA was fantastic, San Francisco was hilly. All those coasters were great fun. Route 1 was one of those bucket list things, now ticked off. The deer incident was a shame, but it’s all life affirming….but not for the deer.

The weather this year has been basically shit. I think I’ve managed one semi disappointing walk and been on the bike about twice.

Karting wise, I’ve done one race. It had some fun bits, but some awful bits as well. Oddly not down to the kart or the team, but other peoples attitudes. When after practise you have to have a two hour meeting discussing engines between all the teams you know it’s just gone too far. It’s a great shame, I used to really enjoy it. But now it really is all about money. The more you are prepared to spend the faster you will go. When I first started, engines were tuned in your own garage. We didn’t have dyno’s or anything fancy, we just listened. You knew when your engine was on song or not. Now you turn up to a race meeting and would look out of place unless you had a 50,000sqft awning and at least 20 engines to choose from. It’s no longer a sport for small teams of wanabee formula one drivers, It’s a sport for people with really bad attitudes, no sportsmanship and formula one budgets. There was talk back in the summer of Paul and I investing in a new chassis and taking it round the Northern circuits. I haven’t heard any more since, quite frankly I don’t really mind. If anything happens it will happen, if it doesn’t I don’t think I’ll miss ever sitting in a kart again. Certainly my ribs won’t.

Okay, other highlights. Well other than the wedding to be honest it’s been a bit of a dull year. Proms in the Park was fun. That was actually a really great weekend other than the shit hotel. I discovered I liked ‘The Average White Band’. Kylie was shit, much better in Orlando.

Turkey this year was okay but nothing special. Jamie announced he no longer likes that type of holiday. Well he can pay for the next one. It will be shit.

I’ve learnt a few things. Mainly about boilers and heating systems. My belief in plumbers has been asserted….they are all shit. DIY, really haven’t done bugger all. Dug a bush out of the front garden. Did quite a lot of clearing up work in the back garden. Again this has mostly been down to the weather. Internally I haven’t really done much at all. I think I’m going to give up on the dinning room, after over two years on one wall I really do think it’s time to give up and get someone else in.

I bought a wine fridge. I bought a beer fridge. I gave up my paper diary in the middle of the year and started this blog. Oddly I’ve kept this going, I kind of enjoy it. Knowing that I’m getting a thousand hits a week from people who never comment but do hang around the pages long enough to read….yes I can tell that. I learnt an awful lot about Linux, especially Ubuntu 12.04LTS. I had a hell of a lot of fun with it. Proxy has been retired and the new server installed. Then after I found it cost more to power that than a small town I built a new lot of hardware, both for that and the pfSense box. Ah, pfSense, there was another bunch of fun. All conquered since, but gave me many an evening of grief but in the end a whole lot of enjoyment.

I stopped anti-depressants. To be honest I wish I was still on them. Even after the dog, which helps a lot, I still get some very very low days. I tend to just get spaced out and let it ride over me. Those are the days I avoid the wine, otherwise I’d never wake up again.

The dog has been great. She’s certainly improved after going to ‘Doggy Daycare’. Her social skills are a lot better. She still needs some work though and this year I’m committed to getting some good training in for her. Then may be then we can go on long and exciting walks together off her lead and I won’t have to worry about if she’s going to eat the next dog she comes across.

So I now have a bit of a new hobby right at the end of this year, Wine Making. It’s a hobby for old bores so should suit me right down to the ground. Actually it’s very involved, but does require waiting around a lot. I’ve bought the gear and got some for Christmas. The smell of the Strawberry Wine is wafting down the stairs now. Won’t be ready for a couple of months.

So karting is pretty much out of the window as I said. It’s very expensive and to be honest I’m just not as young as I was when I started. I have the fitness, but the bruises just hurt that little bit more. I haven’t down climbing in a couple of years since Gary moved to London. That is something I do really miss. I want to get back into that again this year for sure, need to get a new climbing partner. Top rope was fine, but leading to be honest I always found a bit too scary, plus I saw far too many people breaking their legs. If I wanted to break bones I’d do it driving at 120mph into a barrier on a tea tray, not falling six foot off a wall.

Need to do a bit more DIY as well. Certainly I’ll get someone in to do the dinning room. I’m still threatening to get someone in to do the on-suite as well, but as yet no one can really be arsed to give me a quote. People say there isn’t any work around, well there is, you just need to get off your fucking asses.

Work wise, well that’s been interesting. This year has been a mixture of being very slow and uncertain and being uncertain and very slow. Thankfully at the end of the year many of the issues have seemed to have been resolved, I even got paid some money I was owed which was nice. I got to work on game that I really enjoyed, was quite proud of and it even got rave reviews. There’s more of that game to come I think in future which will be good. Also I’m now working on something completely different for a bit, but I now have the confidence it will have the budget and the man power required so I can plough on with it in the new year…well Wednesday anyway. So that’s ending on a high, I’m sure it will all go shit again, it usually does.

Jamie and I are still ignoring each other so nothing changes there. One day, on his day off I would really love for him to turn round and say “Is there anything that needs doing?”. It will never happen, but I live in hope. Also may be he would tidy up once in a while. Again, I won’t keep my hopes up. I love him dearly (there I said it), but sometimes he does make it a little hard when I can’t get to the bathroom as it’s waist high in clothes, or I run out of plates as they are all stacked up in various states of mouldiness in his room.

I failed once again to shag Dillon Samuels. Although I did have quite a deep conversation with his partner Kyros Christian….about red wine.

So there we go. The end of the year. It’s new years eve. It’s now twenty five to six, so a full half hour of waffling. Andy and Lisa are coming round tonight. I’m sure it will be fun but somehow I always feel I’m missing out somewhere. Really I want to be out in some club dancing to late 80’s trance rather than drinking Foster’s and trying to be the life and soul of the party over a snack sausage roll. No offence to anybody, you may think it’s me but really it isn’t. I think it’s all down to the new years eve depression thing again. Either that or a misspent youth, or in my case not so much misspent youth. But that really is a story for another day.

I’m going to wrap up now and save off the draft as I do have all those sausage rolls to prepare. I’ll finish this off later, probably in a more intoxicated state.

Well, all over now. A bit of a damp squib really. We drank various things, talked about Tesco’s. Sat around staring out of the window. Jamie cooked more hot food, we had enough to feed about fifty people. I did full on rave dancing to some heavy trance with the dog. I had two cans of lager and a couple of glasses of wine. Lisa had about two bottles. The Cava was oxygenated a bit too much. Next year I vow to do something different as it really was just a little bit dull with everyone working in the morning.

We decided to do a couple of activities this year, thankfully no civil partnerships. Let’s see if we can pull them off. Meanwhile there’s all the tidying up to do. Oh yeah, and the tax return. Roll on 2013.

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