I have a self cleaning oven, although I’ve never caught it at it

So where were we, as yes Saturday. Got up later than I’d planned, considering I wanted to do a load of house re-checks today for Holly Hedge. Walked the dog, we got heavily hailed on, she really wasn’t keen on that, so we came back. I did the shopping which seemed to take forever as I had two bloody lists. Unpacked shopping, had lunch.

Then decided I really must get on with these home checks, so rang a couple and one was in, so went and did that. Lovely lady, lovely cat. Then I drove into town so I could go into Apple Store to be told that we don’t actually have any Apple products here so please order them online. Went into Robert Dyas and bought some new phones as I was bored of my outgoing line phone cutting out after five minutes. Went into House Of Fraser, looked at coffee machines, they didn’t have what I wanted. Well they had what I would have liked, but there was no way I was going to pay that much for it. Bought some new noodle bowls.

Came back home, walked the dog round the block as she was looking edgy. Had shower, went and picked up Andy & Lisa, as well as Jamie. Came back, we had Champagne (no Lulu). I cooked. Apparently it was fabulous. It was Chicken, Shiitake Mushrooms, Asparagus and Ginger. I did it with Noodles and rice (for an awkward one, it’s like vegetarians, if you don’t want meat then go outside and eat my lawn.) We drink wine, a lot of wine. Considering the talk usually centers around Tesco’s I was quite surprised that this evening oddly it didn’t. We somehow managed to talk about children’s eating habit’s and how Jamie can actually find his way around London on his own without getting lost, mugged or bum raped.

So this morning we got up late. Well before we got up we did perform the sex act. Well I performed it, it’s not exactly like a Shakespearean play, I doubt he was in to bum sex, Jamie just really didn’t seem in the mood. About half hour later though he had perked up somewhat (both mentally and metaphorically) so I performed my mad maracas routine on his love pump while he laid back, closed his eyes and thought about Terry Wogan in Speedos. We then got up. I had boiled eggs.

As it was Sunday it was Jamie’s turn to walk the dog. As it was a nice day I decided to be the tour guide, otherwise the walk would have been about three minutes long. I dressed in cross country trainers and old trakkie bottoms. Jamie dressed like he was off to a gay bar. We went on one of my longer routes, oddly Jamie didn’t moan at all. I then came back and mowed the lawn, followed by watching a guy jump out of a wheelie bin at the edge of space. “Felix Baumgartner”, if I had balls your size, I’d have serious walking issues.

So there we are, back up to date, the rest of the evening will consist of wine, bath, more wine, curry (with wine), followed by falling asleep in front of the Korean GP.

Ordered my iPhone5, well it’s the companies iPhone5, but they won’t get it.

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