How many shits can you have in one day?

Woke up and had a poo. Started work. Drank coffee and then had another one. But lunch I think I was up to about seven. I’m not talking little lumps here, I’m talking sizeable shits. Captain James sent me a text about Saturday, I’ve cancelled it for the moment. My head is not quite in the right place with the stress of work and everything at the moment, to be in control of a machine that’s determined to kill me in under a second. Plus there’s already been one Valentine’s day massacre, lets not have another one starring me. Had another poo. Walked Sasha. Poo’d some more. New bin and toilet brush arrived, all very posh. Did an eight mile run. Had a shower. Just waiting now for another poo.

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