So I took mother to Weymouth and she mostly behaved

Picked mother up at 10:30, we had a fairly uneventful but long journey down to Weymouth due to traffic. She nows knows an awful lot about vortex rings (Google it) and I was subjected to one of her anecdotes about knitting machines as we were driving through Whitchurch. We got to Weymouth and it took her five minutes to re-assemble herself out of the car. We went to the pub for lunch. As usual she studied the menu, for far too long. I asked her what she wanted, she did the usual, “What are you having?”. Now I thought, I wonder when was the last time she had bacon or a fried egg. So I asked, “How about the all day breakfast?”. She said that would be lovely as she hadn’t had bacon in ages. So I went up and ordered. She then asked what I was having, I said, “Fish and chips”. “Oh, I would have had fish and chips. I thought you were having the all day breakfast so you could get the £8 special.” You can’t win. She enjoyed her meal. We walked round the shops for a bit and then on to the arcade. Won a few more key rings. We returned to the car. She inserted herself. I drove to Portland as I had a couple of travel bugs to move on. Parked up overlooking Portland Bill. Beautiful view, by the Olympic Rings. She moaned she wanted a toilet, I said there was one about 200M away, she said that was too far. I left her for an hour and managed to find a couple of caches to put the travel bugs in. By the time I had got back to the car she had found the loo…twice. Got back to her place and carried her bags up the steps. She put all her weight on her stick and put her foot down, she then let off a massive fart. That was the highlight of the day.

I may see her next year.

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