So after being at a BBQ yesterday which slowly descended into a shot drinking contest, I decided to walk home. Jamie ended up waking up at 3AM and devouring a tub of ice cream with a banging headache. I woke up at 9AM felt perfectly fine and started looking at bathrooms. We headed out to a bathroom showroom, found the bath I wanted, but we couldn’t agree on tiles. So I’ll just choose what I want, as I’m paying for it anyway.
Came back. I spent a few hours working on the model helicopters. It was fine, except I couldn’t concentrate. I had a million voices running through my mind, work, all sorts of shit. A tub of Temazepam wouldn’t have calmed me down. I managed to get the T-Rex 450 set up pretty well. The tail rotor was on backwards. But still my mind was all over the place. I walked Sasha. Then had a bath, tried to read a magazine, no good, couldn’t do more than about three lines. It’s odd the only time I can find clarity at the moment is when James says, “Engine off, land it”. Then my mind is 100% clear. It’s strange that I can spend 99.9% of my time thinking about death and fun ways to achieve it, yet that 0.1% you have the entire opposite, the only think you can think about is trying not to die. People say those people who do base jumping off tall buildings and scale great heights without ropes are mad, no they’re not, they are just trying to find clarity, they want to achieve complete peace with themselves and thats the only way they can achieve it. I can really appreciate that. Sometimes I think that delivering post and having a wife with an ass the size of a country may be the solution, but in the end it will all end the same, the grass may be greener, but it’s still grass.
Back to work tomorrow, where my many demons will at least be able to focus on work. I work in a multi-processor environment, so it’s quite useful to able to focus on three hundred things at once.