I travelled 8000 miles today, the last 15 were no doubt the scariest

So started off this morning with the alarm going off at 8AM, so we got up at 8:30 and finished off the packing. I had the last of my cereal from what can only be described as a large crisp packet. We finished everything up and had a large pile of rubbish in the corner (which also included two pairs of shoes, more on this later….).

Check out was the usual Japanese breeze and we made it to the Narita express in good time. Hour and a half on the train then into the airport. We used the self service check-in and I paid about £300 for an upgrade to ‘Economy Comfort’, a good decision.

The flight back was considerably more comfortable than the one going, the seats were the same but we had a lot more leg room and they reclined a good sixty degrees. I had a collection of pillows and was pretty comfortable the whole journey. Started with a beer, then had wine, followed by cognac, followed by another two bottles of wine, a beer and a cup of tea. File wise, watched the new Hobbit film (okay, but far far too long), watched Les Mis again (good film but Russell Crowe is still a cock). Then watched another film called ‘Mamma’, which was a bit like ‘The Women in black’, it was a sort of horror, yeah it was okay. Then watched two American comedies, first one can’t remember, second one was about a guy bringing up a baby as his ex-wife was a serial killer, funny stuff.

We then ended up at Schiphol airport. Which as far as airports go it’s one of the better ones to be stuck at for three hours waiting for your transfer. We found an Irish pub and had fish and chips. Oddly we were then late for the gate, but there were others who were later. That journey was uneventful, which isn’t surprising as Amsterdam to Bristol is about seven minutes, I’ve had longer bowel movements.

Got our luggage back without any issues, mother was waiting outside the arrivals. We got in the car and she started driving. I’ve just done way over seven thousand miles in a steel tube five miles in the air with 350 people I probably didn’t like but this was a real thrill a minute. I’d forgotten just how ‘interesting’ my mothers driving is at night, when she doesn’t know where she’s going. Okay, I was half tired having been up for twenty odd hours but travelling down Winterstoke Road I felt that ‘bomb alley’ in Baghdad may have been a safer bet. We made it home, I had aged.

I had a quick shower and then went to bed by about 11PM. It was a very long day, I was glad it was all over and we’d both made it back safely. We were back to shitty normality, Bradley Stoke, Tesco’s, my mysterious job, Jamie’s dull one. Got back into a nice familiar bed, full of dog hair. Still at least we get to pick Sasha up tomorrow, so not all bad.

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