Woke up early, mainly because Jamie was snoring like a train. So stripped down part of the mid position valve at 6AM. Then went to sleep in the spare room, where I slept quite soundly until the dog discovered where I’d got to at about half eight.

So breakfast served and dog de-peed, Santa had left a stocking by my coffee machine. Went back to bed (same one as Jamie this time), unwrapped contents of stocking, mainly chocolate based. Got up, I walked the dog, together with what seemed like the rest of Bradley Stoke dog owners. Came back, Jamie had got up by now. We unwrapped presents and were vaguely nice to each other. Jamie got a PS Vita, I got a home brew kit.

Then we sorted everything out, packed the dog away and then got picked up by mother. Went over to my sisters. There’s Shaun cooked a lovely lunch as usual. My mother proceeded to tell countless anecdotes with no to them whatsoever. So was dressed in a floral flock wallpaper style dress, I’m sure I’ve eaten in a booth covered with the same material before. My sister wore a sort of brown number and looked a bit like a tubby Lara Croft. The rest of us made no effort, except Jamie did wash.

We stayed there until mid afternoon when we came back home to sort the dog out. I promptly fell asleep. Jamie then woke me ten minutes before we were being picked up again. So quick shower and then we returned. We then ate various party food and I fell asleep again. Between me and my sister I think we cleared off about eight bottles of wine. We ended up playing Pictionary, the answer to everything was of course ‘Vagina’. My mother then made a rather interesting faux pas by calling the youngest nephew a ‘faggot’, Jamie then berated her for the next half hour about it, she kept saying that ‘she didn’t mean it like that’. I just tried to explain that he wasn’t a faggot but merely a medium height potential homosexual. Anyway good night had by all. We returned, drank more lager and ate cheese and pineapple while watching Christmas TV.