So I’ve been trying to remember to bleach my teeth. A task I usually try and perform in the morning after my cup of tea, which follows my cup of coffee. You are meant to keep it in for about ten minutes, which is why I keep it in for three hours. Working on the theory that it’s probably worn out by then anyway. Why do I bleach my teeth? Well it’s the first thing people seem to notice, it’s certainly not my hair as that’s always covered by a hat. They used to be a combination of brown and green, but years of bleaching have now turned them ‘mostly’ white. Plus my dentist has slowly being replacing my amalgams, I only have two left.

My teeth are the only part of my body that is improving with age.